PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST

Is not selfish

“I will keep this week’s newsletter short”.

That is what I tell myself every week but I often end up writing too much. This week, I will actually keep it short and simple.

Last week, I made a conscious decision to put myself first, to take care of my mental health, to protect my personal space, to surround myself with love from friends and family. It felt good. I have always been very conscious of the kind of energy I let into my space but sometimes, life does its thing and we allow unhealthy thoughts and people creep into our space, for varying reasons. For me, its often because I’m too busy caring for everyone else but myself. I mean, we are humans and we cannot always get it right but we cannot afford to always settle for the wrong kind of energy. The effect of constantly putting ourselves behind everyone else can be very damaging to our peace.

My self-care didn’t require a parade. You do not need to scream to the world that you are taking care of yourself. In fact, you do not need anyone’s permission to make yourself happy. Kindness is and remains the goal and putting yourself first in certain situations is an act of kindness to yourself, it is a form of self -love and love is anything but selfish. We cannot allow people to continuously take from us without giving, to cut us with their words and actions because we have thick skin. We cannot continue to manage people’s negative energy because they are our friends/family. Sometimes, like wild animals, the sadness pulls and tugs at your skin until it gets your flesh and then your soul.

Turn that phone off, decline that call, boldly send that ‘No’ text, stay home if you have to, speak up more than you’re silent, be bold, let those friends go, say hello to that stranger, be open to making new friends, tell the truth, be confident, stay away from hate and negativity, love yourself a little bit more, forgive yourself, take the time you need to figure out how you feel about certain situations, fix your relationship with God and with people, guard your personal time and space. Make YOUR life about what is best for YOU. It is not selfish to show up for yourself and even if it is, honestly, a healthy kind of selfish is necessary for survival. A day in Lagos will teach you this.

Take care of yourself and see you next week.